To Fix A Damaged Heart
by catsaretriangles
Summary: Oneshot Femslash Seiya x Yaten When Yaten falls into a deep depression she turns to drugs and alcohol to take away her pain. She keeps shutting out those who matter most. But what happens when Seiya keeps pushing her to stop?


**Authors note: Trigger warning: mentions of depression, there is smoking and weed as well as mentions of alcohol. Also this is femslash so you are warned.**

Yaten let out a soft sigh, before bringing the lit cigarette to her mouth and inhaling deeply. She pulled the cigarette away and exhaled, a small cloud of smoke filling the air around her.

"How did I let myself get like this?" she asked herself sadly, before bringing it back up to her mouth again and inhaling once more, the smoke filling her lungs.

It had all started back on earth. Yaten had been battling depression for years, since she'd had a hard upbringing in her early years of life. Then losing her princess and getting stuck on earth searching for her, along with Seiya falling for the moon princess, had pushed her past her breaking point.

One day she had finally snapped from all the internal pain she kept inside, and she had put on a disguise and then ran to the nearest drug store, buying a pack of cigarettes, desperate for anything to take away the pain that she was trying so hard to bottle up.

After that came weed, and then alcohol. Yaten knew that her princess and her partners didn't approve, but it was her life and it wasn't hurting any of them so why should it matter?

All of a sudden she heard footsteps approaching her and she pulled her cigarette away, exhaling again before turning to look at the person in front of her. She let out a sigh of annoyance when she saw who it was. "Go away Fighter."

"Yaten, it's midnight. You should be in bed." Fighter stated.

"Why do you care?" Yaten asked, not really caring to know the answer, before putting her cigarette back up to her mouth.

"You need to sleep and besides you know smoking isn't good for you. You shouldn't be doing this stuff, especially at this hour when you should be sleeping."

"Fighter, stop telling me how to live my life. This doesn't involve you and it's my choice. Now please leave before I start getting really mad."

Fighter sighed. "Yaten I'm only saying you should stop because it's not good for you and I care about you."

Yaten let out a fake laugh. "Yeah, like I'm really going to believe that. Now this is the last time I'm going to say this. Please leave." she said, anger growing in her voice.

Feeling defeated, Fighter cast her eyes down to the ground. "Ok, good night Yaten." she whispered quietly before walking off.

Yaten rolled her eyes and ignored her leader. "Why does she care? She doesn't understand me and why doesn't she seem to understand that this is my life?"

Fighter walked inside the castle and went to her room, shutting the door softly behind her. She transformed back into Seiya and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Why is she doing this to herself?" Seiya asked herself, trying to hold back her tears. "I just want to help her..." she muttered before laying down, not bothering to change into her pajamas.

She began to cry silently as she laid on her bed, trying to fall asleep. "Why am I crying?" she asked herself. "It's just Yaten..."

Eventually Yaten's cigarette burned out and she tossed it away. She didn't want to go to bed though. She felt wide awake.

So not feeling tired, she decided to take a walk around the palace garden. She walked for a bit trying to look at the flowers, but not seeing much because of how dark it was. She could make out the outlines of certain flowers though, so she could tell what was what.

All of a sudden her eyes began to water when she spotted a certain flower. She walked over to it and lifted it gently with her hand. She examined it closely and tears filled her eyes when her suspicions had been confirmed. Although it was dark she could still barely make out it's color.

It was a white tiger lilly. Her mom's favorite flower.

 _"Mommy! Mommy! Look what I brought you!" a maybe six year old Yaten shouted, as she ran to her mother, holding about five or six white tiger lillys in her little hand._

 _Yaten's mom smiled at her, her blue eyes glimmering as she took the flowers from her daughter. "Arigatou Yaten. They're beautiful."  
_

 _Yaten smiled up at her. "I knew you'd like them! Sei-chan helped me pick them for you."_

 _"I love them Yaten." her mom said softly, as she bent down to give Yaten a kiss on the head._

Tears began to fall down Yaten's cheeks as she relived the memory. It was one of the only good memories she had of her mother.

"I need another cigarette." she mumbled through her tears, as she pulled the package back out and pulled a new cigarette out.

/

Healer stood at her post, trying to be still but shaking lightly. "God, I really need to smoke some weed right now." she mumbled quietly so no one else could hear her. "Only ten more minutes."

The next ten minutes dragged by slowly for Healer. She tried to contain her posture, trying to remain tall and straight, trying not to let her body shake.

Once her shift was over, she transformed back to Yaten and ran as fast as she could back to her room. She grabbed her bag of weed that she kept hidden and took some out.

She went outside, and took out the weed she had taken and lit it with her lighter.

She was about to put it to her mouth before she felt someone smack it out of her head.

"What the hell was that for Fighter?" she yelled at her leader who currently was crying.

"Please just stop!" Fighter cried, as more tears fell.

"Why should I?" Yaten shouted, getting seriously mad at Fighter.

"I can't stand to see you hurting yourself Yaten!"

"Why? It's not affecting your life so why should you care?"

"Because I care about you Yaten!"

"If you cared about me, you'd let me do this!"

"No, because you're hurting yourself! I don't care what all you've been through, nothing is bad enough that you should be doing this to yourself!"

Yaten slapped Fighter hard across the cheek, anger burning in her lime green eyes. "Shut up! You don't know what I've been through in my life! So, if you'll excuse me I'm going to get some more weed since the other weed I had is now on the ground thanks to you!" she shouted before stalking off.

"Yaten." Fighter whispered sadly, before collapsing to the ground in tears.

/

It was during that time of the year again when Princess Kakyuu had decided to throw another ball.

"Seiya, you look beautiful." Taiki commented to her younger friend who simply blushed in response.

"Arigatou Taiki." she said quietly. She had on a midnight blue ball gown, that had black lace along it's v-neckline and black lace along the bottom of the skirt. Her hair was up in a bun, with a small black rose in her hair. She had her nails painted black, and she had smoky eye shadow on her eyes as well as black lipstick on her thin lips. "I didn't think anyone would like it."

"Well I think you look lovely."

"Thank you again but look who's talking."

Taiki was dressed in a lilac dress that was fitted to her body and went straight down her lower body instead of flaring out to the sides like Seiya's dress. Her hair had been braided into a french braid and she had on some neutral colored eye shadow, along with ruby red lipstick. "Arigatou Seiya."

"Have you seen Yaten tonight?"

Taiki shook her head. "No, she's probably outside on the balcony, smoking some weed or something."

Seiya rolled her eyes. "Of course." she muttered. "I'm going to go check on her."

"Ok, I'll be here if you need me."

Seiya wandered around for a bit until she spotted Yaten right where Taiki had predicted, out on the balcony, smoking a cigarette.

She walked over to the shorter girl out on the balcony.

Yaten let out a small sigh. "If you're here to lecture me about how smoking is bad for my health, then you can leave right now." the older girl stated, annoyance already present in her voice, as she lifted her cigarette back up to her mouth.

"No, I won't, I promise."

"Good."

Seiya walked closer to her and took in her friend's appearance. Yaten had on a lime green tank top along with a black cardigan and a pair of black ripped pants. Her hair was tied up in it's regular ponytail and she had on a pair of black heels. "Wow Yaten, you're sure dressed for the event." Seiya commented sarcastically.

"Can it Seiya." Yaten responded dryly.

The two stood in silence before Seiya took a closer look at Yaten and noticed that she had tears falling down her cheeks. "Yaten, are you crying?" she asked softly.

Yaten let out a fake laugh and shook her head. "No, why would I be?" she asked.

"Yaten, you're crying."

"No I'm not."

"Then why do you have tears falling down your cheeks?" Seiya questioned.

"Shut up." Yaten remaker bitterly.

"Yaten it's ok to be sad."

Yaten shook her head. "No it isn't. Cause if you cry then you're weak and being weak isn't a good thing." Yaten said, her voice quivering a little.

"Yaten..." Seiya whispered as she put a hand on the older girl's slender shoulder.

Yaten flinched and pulled away. "Don't touch me!"

"Gomenasai."

The silver haired light said nothing and lifted her cigarette back to her mouth. She exhaled the smoke and threw the burnt out cigarette away.

"You know it's ok to cry, right? Crying doesn't make you weak." Seiya said softly.

Yaten let out a soft sob and turned away.

Seiya sighed and walked over to Yaten. She wrapped her arm's around the shorter girl's waist and pulled her into a tight hug.

Yaten's eyes widened and she tried to pull away but she couldn't, so instead she gave in and wrapped her arms around Seiya's neck, sobbing into the younger girl's shoulder until she had no tears left to cry.

"There, there. It's ok." Seiya whispered softly as she rubbed Yaten's back, inhaling the scent of smoke that lingered on her.

Yaten pulled away and choked out a small laugh. "No, it's not." she whispered sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since I was little I've always been alone. When my mom told my dad she was pregnant, he wanted nothing to do with me and left her. Growing up, my mom was very abusive. I had very few happy moments with her. She would always tell me how horrible a soldier I was and she'd hit me all the time."

Seiya gasped. "But your mom seemed so sweet."

Yaten let out another fake laugh and shook her head, fresh tears brimming her bloodshot lime green eyes. "No, she always acted nice but behind closed doors she could be a monster. She always pushed me past my limits and called me names. Told me I wasn't worthy of being the next Sailor Star Healer. Told me I couldn't protect my princess. Then when I was 11 she just up and left."

Seiya nodded. "I remember that."

"Hai, that was one of the hardest days of my life. Then when we lost princess Kakyuu, my depression that I already had became ten times worse and one day I just snapped. I couldn't take the pain anymore and I needed it to end." she whispered sadly.

She looked up at Seiya, her bloodshot eyes raw with emotion, her skin ghostly pale, and a fake smile lingering on her lips. "I wonder if it's even possible for me to be loved by someone, let alone liked or even tolerated." she said quietly before letting out a small forced laugh.

"Yaten." Seiya said softly.

"Hmm?" Yaten asked as she looked up at Seiya.

"Ashiteru." the black haired girl whispered softly as she wrapped her arm's around Yaten's waist.

Yaten's eyes widened and she pulled away. "No, thats not true."

"Yaten, I'm not lying."

"Yes you are! This is some kind of cruel joke you're playing on me!" Yaten protested as fresh tears fell from her eyes.

"Yaten-"

"No! This is a joke! You're just trying to hurt me! Well you know what? I won't be a part of your sick joke!" Yaten yelled angrily and rushed off, running as fast as she could in heels.

"Yaten!" Seiya yelled after her and took off running.

Eventually after a long while of searching she found Yaten sobbing in the palace garden, sitting on a white marble bench.

She sat down beside her and wrapped an arm tightly around her. Yaten tried to shove her off but Seiya only tightened her grip around her waist. "Yaten, you know that I meant what I said back there, right?"

Yaten shook her head meekly in response. "I don't believe you." she whispered through her tears.

"Do I have to prove it to you?" Seiya asked.

Yaten looked up at her, her lime green eyes filled with confusion. "Nani?" she asked quietly.

Seiya sighed and cupped Yaten's face in her hands, midnight blue eyes meeting lime green ones. "I mean what I said Yaten. I've loved you for years now, but I always told myself I could never have you. You're beautiful, you may be rude but you have a heart of gold, you're funny, you're adorable, you're loyal, stubborn. God, I love everything about you." she whispered softly.

"No, you're lying." Yaten protested.

"I'm not lying Yaten. I really love you." Seiya whispered before pressing her lips up against Yaten's.

Yaten gasped slightly but kissed back as tears fell down her cheeks.

She pulled away from Seiya, with a slight smile on her face. "So you mean what you said?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

Seiya nodded. "Hai."

"What about Usagi?"

"She was like a distraction to me. She made me forget about how much I loved you since I thought I never stood a chance with you." Seiya admitted. "But now, that I'm with you, I feel complete." she whispered.

Yaten's smile grew ten times bigger. "So you really mean it?"

"Hai. Ashiteru."

"I love you too." Yaten whispered before grabbing her pack of cigarettes and tossing it away, not caring how hard it would be to not smoke. She knew she could do it because she had Seiya. She knew that Seiya could fix her damaged heart.


End file.
